Tag: Alzheimer’s; Mom; tip

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One More Hug

“You are beautiful and one more hug before you go.”

My son is having trouble saying goodbye to me in the mornings when I drop him off at school. He cries, “one more hug, one more hug,” with his arms outstretched towards me.  I hug him and say, “I will always give you one more hug. I am in your heart and you are in mine.” I whisper to him, “You can feel me in your heart throughout the day like a hug.” He sweetly asks, “Are you always hugging my heart?” A tear forms and I say, “Yes, I am always hugging your heart… forever and ever.”

Mom has entered the last stages of her long and wonderful life journey and I now have to say goodbye to my mother as she “drops” me off for the rest of my life without her. The end of the journey has brought many memories to mind but my son saying, “one more hug, one more hug,” has brought one memory back in particular: soft light was filtering in through the window and my moms reflection was in the mirror standing behind me braiding my hair before school. I looked at her in the mirror and she smiled at me and said, “You’re beautiful and one more hug before you go.”

Mom showed her love through actions like: doing my hair, helping me get ready for school and being there when I got home with an afternoon snack, making sure I had the right school supplies and clothes, preparing delicious meals, teaching me to sew, helping me make crafty projects for my friends, and sending care packages when I was far away.

Blessings were abundant growing up. The house was filled with love, family and friends, the laughter from us three girls, dad working on projects, and mom decorating to make our home a beautiful place.  They were worry free days knowing that mom and dad provided everything we needed.

Now that I am a mother myself, I realize all that my mom did for me growing up. Through her love and actions she has made me who I am today and I am grateful. I will work to pass on all that my mom has taught me to my children. I will continue to hold onto all that I have learned from mom, cherish my time spent with her and my family and hold dear the memories we share.

After reflecting on all the wonderful memories and lessons learned from my mom. I think I will never know how to really say goodbye, so for now I will say:

Mom,

I love you so much. You are a blessing in my life. You are brave and strong. Thank you for giving me the gift of life and for all you have done for me. I cherish our memories and time together. We are always in your heart and you are in our hearts. We are always hugging your heart forever and ever. May God bless you and keep you peaceful. May your journey be filled with love, light and your mom and dad welcoming you home with one more hug.

You are beautiful and one more hug before you go.

I love you,

Mindy

“We are always hugging your heart forever and ever. “

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Tips for the Beginning Stages – Clean out the Closet!

By:  Betsey

We often feel like we are wading through each stage of Alzheimer’s blind with no clue as to what we are doing! Just as we feel that we are getting a handle on something, my mom’s condition will change rapidly and we scramble to come up with a solution to each new change and challenge it presents.

Perhaps we should have utilized more resources and there is a magical guide we could have read, but we have just been figuring out each stage on our own by trial and error.  Each situation is unique, but part of why we write is to help others by sharing what we have learned along the way.

One thing that helped us very early on was to organize and clean out my mom’s closet.

My mom loved to shop! She is very fashionable and had many, many clothes. It took us a while in the beginning to realize it was overwhelming for her to pick out clothes each day. With posterior cortical atrophy, it was difficult for my mom to see things that were in front of her. Crowded spaces were difficult and overwhelming for her to process.  Therefore, looking in her packed closet and getting dressed in the beginning stages became very difficult.  She struggled putting together clothes that matched or the appropriate clothes for the season. I don’t know why it took us so long to realize something so simple – clear out the closet!

We moved all of her clothes to a different closet and even bought a pop up portable closet  for more space to store additional clothes in another room.  We only put the clothes back in that were of the correct season and size and eliminated clothes with a lot of buttons or that were uncomfortable, etc…. While we did donate some clothes, just a tip – don’t get rid of all clothes of varied sizes. Our mom’s weight has fluxuated up and down during this journey. At first, she gained some weight because she wasn’t cooking for herself as much. There was more eating out, more people dropping by with food, etc… Since that time, my mom has had varied times of weight gain and loss so I am glad we didn’t get rid of everything.

So, in the beginning we essentially cleared out my mom’s closet to a few shirts and a few easy to wear pants that she would go for most often. This made a huge difference.  Also, as we knew big events were approaching – wedding showers, parties, Christmas etc… we would plan her outfits in advance and lay them out for her. This helped my dad as well.

Cleaning out the closet is something we could all probably stand to do! But, for us this early on clean out made a big difference!