Tag: Alzheimer’s

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One More Hug

“You are beautiful and one more hug before you go.”

My son is having trouble saying goodbye to me in the mornings when I drop him off at school. He cries, “one more hug, one more hug,” with his arms outstretched towards me.  I hug him and say, “I will always give you one more hug. I am in your heart and you are in mine.” I whisper to him, “You can feel me in your heart throughout the day like a hug.” He sweetly asks, “Are you always hugging my heart?” A tear forms and I say, “Yes, I am always hugging your heart… forever and ever.”

Mom has entered the last stages of her long and wonderful life journey and I now have to say goodbye to my mother as she “drops” me off for the rest of my life without her. The end of the journey has brought many memories to mind but my son saying, “one more hug, one more hug,” has brought one memory back in particular: soft light was filtering in through the window and my moms reflection was in the mirror standing behind me braiding my hair before school. I looked at her in the mirror and she smiled at me and said, “You’re beautiful and one more hug before you go.”

Mom showed her love through actions like: doing my hair, helping me get ready for school and being there when I got home with an afternoon snack, making sure I had the right school supplies and clothes, preparing delicious meals, teaching me to sew, helping me make crafty projects for my friends, and sending care packages when I was far away.

Blessings were abundant growing up. The house was filled with love, family and friends, the laughter from us three girls, dad working on projects, and mom decorating to make our home a beautiful place.  They were worry free days knowing that mom and dad provided everything we needed.

Now that I am a mother myself, I realize all that my mom did for me growing up. Through her love and actions she has made me who I am today and I am grateful. I will work to pass on all that my mom has taught me to my children. I will continue to hold onto all that I have learned from mom, cherish my time spent with her and my family and hold dear the memories we share.

After reflecting on all the wonderful memories and lessons learned from my mom. I think I will never know how to really say goodbye, so for now I will say:

Mom,

I love you so much. You are a blessing in my life. You are brave and strong. Thank you for giving me the gift of life and for all you have done for me. I cherish our memories and time together. We are always in your heart and you are in our hearts. We are always hugging your heart forever and ever. May God bless you and keep you peaceful. May your journey be filled with love, light and your mom and dad welcoming you home with one more hug.

You are beautiful and one more hug before you go.

I love you,

Mindy

“We are always hugging your heart forever and ever. “

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In the Face of Alzheimer’s

By: Betsey

What is the face of Alzheimer’s? Like most people, if you would have asked me this question before my mom’s diagnosis, I would have described a kindly old woman with gray hair sitting in a nursing home with a lap blanket. Maybe I got this image from the movie, The Notebook? Maybe this is the true face of Alzheimer’s and reality for many people? But for us, the face of Alzheimer’s is a very different picture.

The face of Alzheimer’s is the face of our very youthful and beautiful mother. It’s the face of my dad, which is now more weathered after nearly 10 years of caregiving. It is my face, worried that one day I will also be diagnosed, and it is that of many strangers who are walking around with this disease or worried about a loved one with Alzheimer’s.

Unlike the picture of the woman with the lap blanket, our mom was 59 when diagnosed. She didn’t (and still doesn’t) have a gray hair on her head.  She is beautiful and fashionable and she didn’t show physical signs of illness in the early years.

I remember going out with her and my sisters for dinner early on. We would discuss with her what she might want from the menu and then order for her as she could not communicate her order to the waitress.  I can clearly recall one waitress in particular making a snide comment and glaring at us as though we were being controlling and rude to our mom somehow.  Also, when we would be out in public and she would become angry or call out nonsensical statements, people would stare, laugh, or shoot us annoyed looks.  Because she was so healthy looking and young, people didn’t understand. No one would look at us with sympathy or concern as they would if she had more demonstrable signs of illness. This journey has definitely made us all more sensitive to mental illness.  You really never know what people are carrying around with them just by looking.  Not all illness looks the same.

Unfortunately, Alzheimer’s disease is becoming an issue that more and more people are facing at an earlier age. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 5.5 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s disease, and by the year 2050 this number could reach 16 million. Almost two-thirds of Americans with Alzheimer’s are women. See https://www.alz.org/facts/

Although the face of Alzheimer’s is becoming ever more present, there is currently no cure for this disease. That is part of why we write – to help bring awareness and in our own way change the idea of Alzheimer’s, mental illness, and other silent diseases. Thank you for joining us as we shed light on all the different faces of Alzheimer’s disease.