By: Betsey
What is the face of Alzheimer’s? Like most people, if you would have asked me this question before my mom’s diagnosis, I would have described a kindly old woman with gray hair sitting in a nursing home with a lap blanket. Maybe I got this image from the movie, The Notebook? Maybe this is the true face of Alzheimer’s and reality for many people? But for us, the face of Alzheimer’s is a very different picture.
The face of Alzheimer’s is the face of our very youthful and beautiful mother. It’s the face of my dad, which is now more weathered after nearly 10 years of caregiving. It is my face, worried that one day I will also be diagnosed, and it is that of many strangers who are walking around with this disease or worried about a loved one with Alzheimer’s.
Unlike the picture of the woman with the lap blanket, our mom was 59 when diagnosed. She didn’t (and still doesn’t) have a gray hair on her head. She is beautiful and fashionable and she didn’t show physical signs of illness in the early years.
I remember going out with her and my sisters for dinner early on. We would discuss with her what she might want from the menu and then order for her as she could not communicate her order to the waitress. I can clearly recall one waitress in particular making a snide comment and glaring at us as though we were being controlling and rude to our mom somehow. Also, when we would be out in public and she would become angry or call out nonsensical statements, people would stare, laugh, or shoot us annoyed looks. Because she was so healthy looking and young, people didn’t understand. No one would look at us with sympathy or concern as they would if she had more demonstrable signs of illness. This journey has definitely made us all more sensitive to mental illness. You really never know what people are carrying around with them just by looking. Not all illness looks the same.
Unfortunately, Alzheimer’s disease is becoming an issue that more and more people are facing at an earlier age. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 5.5 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s disease, and by the year 2050 this number could reach 16 million. Almost two-thirds of Americans with Alzheimer’s are women. See https://www.alz.org/facts/
Although the face of Alzheimer’s is becoming ever more present, there is currently no cure for this disease. That is part of why we write – to help bring awareness and in our own way change the idea of Alzheimer’s, mental illness, and other silent diseases. Thank you for joining us as we shed light on all the different faces of Alzheimer’s disease.